Gibbs, United States Marine
by Noraque
Summary: Being able to sneak up on your team is a great accomplishment. Especially when you hear them comparing you to Chuck Norris.


"You really sure it is wise to compare him to Gibbs?"

At the mention of his name, the team leader, returning from a coffee run, stopped in his tracks just beside the bullpen. Part of the benefit of being an ex-marine is that he could still sneak up on anyone when he chose; this was one time being stealthy and silent worked very well.

"Of course, Zee-vah! If there's one person that could measure up to him, it _would_ be the boss man! Haven't you figured that out from the TV show yet?"

"I have watched, what? Two episodes of a show from ten years ago Tony, and not _one_ thing he has done on that show, I could not do here in real life."

"It's not just about the moves, Ziva! It's the whole personality! That tough-as-nails, fearless, never-fails-to-win guy that every bad guy pisses their pants just by looking at him!"

"I have made many 'bad guys' piss their pants just by looking at them."

"I think what Tony's trying to say, Ziva, is that he's become such a living legend that only Gibbs is capable of rivalling him in terms of masculinity and accomplishments."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of coffee. This was starting to get interesting.

"If that is true McGee, than why did he not become a real-life law enforcement officer? I am sure his special talents could have been put to much more use in real life than on television."

McGee sighed. "He doesn't _have_ any special talents, Ziva. He's as human as any of us. But people like to make up unimaginable accomplishments of his just because of his popularity on the show and his martial arts talents. Just look at this feat right here- it's _impossible _to divide by zero! But he's so popular that fans write this kind of stuff; none of it's real!"

"You mean they are committing fraud?"

"No- they're just building him up larger than life."

"Your American heroes are very strange."

"The _point_ is," Tony interjected, "in people's minds, _no one_ is better than him. Except for us, of course. We know someone who rivals him without question. And Gibbs is even more impressive because he's a real person."

"But is Chuck Norris not real person as well, Tony?" Gibbs paused in the middle of another sip.

"Yes, Zee-vah, but he's an _actor_. The boss here is the real deal! Can you name me one thing Gibbs has set out to do that he's failed to do?"

"Well, no, not exactly."

"McGoo?"

"Well-"

"That's what I thought. And anyway, don't you even remember the opening song of _Walker, Texas Ranger_?"

"It must have slid my mind."

"Slipped your mind, Ziva. Are you kidding me? It's like the greatest opening of all time! Here, I've got in favoured on YouTube. Now let me see... where is it?... Ah, here we go! Say hello to the badass!"

There was a temporary pause. Then Gibbs was met with the sound of guitar cords being strung in the fashion of Texas country music. This went on for almost ten seconds before the lyrics started up.

_In the eyes of a Ranger,_

_The unsuspected stranger,_

_Had better know the truth of wrong from right._

_'Cause the eyes of a Ranger are upon you,_

_Any wrong you do, he's gonna see._

_When you're in Texas, look behind you,_

_'Cause that's where the Rangers are gonna be._

As the song finished, Tony declared, "Now wasn't that something, Ziva?"

"It was certainly very impressive, but I do not see how it relates to Gibbs' alleged superiority."

"I'm glad you said that actually!"

"Why?"

"Because I get to prove you wrong once again! I've got the song without lyrics favoured on here as well."

"What about it?" McGee asked.

"I wrote my own lyrics to the song a long time ago, except I re-worked them to fit Gibbs instead."

Gibbs blinked. A song about him? _This_ he had to hear!

"You wrote a song about Gibbs? And you're still alive?"

"Quiet, McNoisy! You wanna get us killed?"

"We? Who's we? I'm just going to say it was all your idea- which it was, right Ziva?"

"Completely."

"Alright, cut the chit-chat! You wanna get this done before Gibbs comes back from his coffee run? Here- I just sent you two the lyrics- we're gonna see just how awesome this really is!"

"You sent an e-mail without McGee's help, Tony? I guess miracles do happen."

"Can it, Ziva! Alright, here we go."

Gibbs listened intently as the sounds of a country guitar straight from the depths of Texas started up again. When it got to the lyrics part, it was Tony who started off.

_In the eyes of a marine,_

_The stranger near a crime scene,_

_Had better know the truth of life from death_.

McGee and Ziva joined in.

_'Cause the eyes of a marine are upon you,_

_Anything you do, he's gonna to see._

_When you're here in DC, look around you,_

Tony finished it off.

_'Cause somewhere that marine's gonna be_."

Gibbs permitted himself a small smile as he finished the last of his coffee. He had to admit that the improvisation was pretty good- even better than the original if he dared say so himself. And you know what? He did. And he was pretty damn proud of his team having the ability- or perhaps _balls_ was the better word- to sing about him. He made a mental note to write down his own version later on.

For now though, he assumed his expressionless face and strode into the bullpen to his desk. "Should have followed your own advice, DiNozzo."

Tony bolted upright, closing the windows on his computer screen. "Uh, boss! We were just, uh... uh..."

"Don't wanna hear about it, Tony. But if any of you wanna make it out of here before midnight, you'll get a move on with that paperwork. You got it?"

There was a chorus of 'yes, boss' and 'yes, Gibbs' as the three agents quickly got back to work.

From behind a file folder, Gibbs couldn't help but smirk. As recalled the lyrics of the improvised version in his head, he made another mental note to write them down.

Oh yeah- this was something he _had_ to trademark!

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Please review and give me feedback!**


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